Just read that Trevor Moore, the CEO of HMV, used to be the CEO of Jessops.

I'm guessing that before that he was safety officer on the Titanic.

Despite the recent news, Tesco says that their beef burger sales remain stable.

IO was in the tesco cafe earlier, the counter asistant asked if I wanted anything on my burger, I replied a fiver each way.

just logged onto tesco home shopping site to buy some burgers, then clicked add to cart

People keep going on about tesco's burgers, you should try the meatballs,there the dogs bollox.

Tesco will never live this down, sell your shares now !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The AA have warned that anyone traveling in these icy conditions should take a blanket/sleeping bag, extra clothes (including hat scarf and gloves) 24hr food and drink supply, de-icer, rock salt, a torch ,spare batteries, petrol can, first aid kit and jump leads...

I looked a right **** on the bus this morning.

A farmer in Yorkshire sees a bloke drinking from his stream and shouts,
"Ey up cocker, tha dunt wanna be drinkin watta frum theer, its full o hoss piss an cow shite."

The bloke says:
"Sir, I am from Pakistan , can you be speaking clearer, and slower please"


The farmer replies:
"If.... you.... use.... two.... hands.... you.... won't... spill ....any" o:D

I got talking to a girl in the pub last night, and after a few drinks, she giggled and said,
'I like playing with toys at night...if you know what I mean.'

I smiled, nodded and said,
'We can go back to my place, I might have the sort of toys you'd enjoy.'

Anyways ...to cut a long story short ...



She thinks Scalextric is shit. :gh:

Haha ..that last one made me laugh Benny :clap::clap:

Bradford City have annouced that tickets for their Capital One Cup final will go on sale next week, starting prices are 60 rupees.

Cabinet meeting:

"Mr Prime Minister, the country is broke, no money! Debt! Our boys are fighting an American war! Immigration is at its highest! Employment is at its lowest! How can we fix this?"

David Cameron: "Faster trains!"