The Caddy
 

Then the Caddy Speaks

David Feherty does a standup show that is quite spectacular. It's all about his life in golf, the drinking and lots of stories about life on the tour.

Here's one of his stories:


It was back in the 70s and a soon-to-be prominent golfer (Ray Floyd) was playing at Augusta for his first Masters. Back then the players could not bring their own caddies but had to use one of the locals. Floyd told the caddy master he wanted a big fellow who could handle his bag, but who also would keep quiet, no advice needed.



The caddy who was assigned Floyd said, "Hello Mr. ...........".

Floyd said "Hello." And followed that with, "That's the last I want to hear from you."



Everything went well until the 10th hole when Floyd pushed his drive into the right trees on the par 4. After surveying the scene he said out loud, "I'm going to hit a low fade out through that opening to carry and land mid green and then roll over the crest down near the hole."

Surprisingly he pulled it off exactly and turned to his caddy and said,

"How's that?" :loveme:



The caddy spoke for the first time and said, "That wasn't your ball." :'D

Feherty is really funny, when he won the Scottish Open he went on the drink and took the trophy with him. After 2 days he woke up on the 16th green at Gleneagles, he won it in Loch Lomond 45 miles away, not remembering anything, including where he left the 100 year old trophy. They still haven't found it :loveme: Now that is a session to be proud of.

I wonder if Benny's neighbour like that one ....o:D

Had to get rid of my dog today ......:-C

He kept digging up the bloody garden .....:'D

After waiting for what seemed like an eternity, the stewardess announces over the intercom that "we're just waiting for the pilots."
The passengers look out the window and see two men, dressed as pilots walking towards the plane. Both men are using guide dogs and appear to be blind. There are murmurs among the passengers, and some believe it is a joke.
The men board the plane and go into the cockpit. More concerned murmurs and uneasy chuckles from the passengers. The plane taxis normally to the runway and begins it's takeoff. As passengers look out the window they realize they are nearing the end of the runway. The entire passenger cabin begins screaming but the plane lifts off just before the end of the runway. The passengers calm down and chuckle to themselves, at this point believing that they fell for a joke.
In the cockpit, the pilot turns to his copilot and says "you know, one day those people are gonna scream too late and we're all gonna die!"

Hahahaha :D :D :D :D love it Dobie :eat:

Hahahaha :clap: :clap:

https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net...3e&oe=57543E35



Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.'

The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano?' 'Yes, Father, it is.' 'And who was the girl you were with?'

'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation.'

"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now.

Was it Tina Minetti?" 'I cannot say.' 'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?' 'I'll never tell.' 'Was it Nina Capelli?' 'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.'

'Was it Cathy Piriano?' 'My lips are sealed Father.' 'Well then, was it Rosa DiAngelo?' 'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'

The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone.

You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.'

Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, 'What'd you get?' 'Four month's vacation and five excellent Leads.'


:t:

I think it's safe to say that this thread has now become 'Tony's Facebook Joke Page' 3:-)

Steve has his own 'Dating Site Adds' to keep him busy 3:-)

Time for me to start up the old, 'Self Preservation Society Group' me thinks ;)

I always wondered where that went .....:news:

I will leave this one to you although i have invaded it a little to much ...:hippy:

Im going to start a new Tony's facebook page just for my BIG pictures....o:D

No it's ok , do whatever 3:-)

I just thought that with Steve's adverts for Asian and Muslim women dating sites, and your facebook pictures we might as well see if we can't ask Sam Alladyce what's the chances of him giving his opinon on Football 3:-)

Of course i could also ask Donald Trump to explain what he meant by the size of his dick ??

F'cking world's gone mad so we might as well join in on here :hippy: