Sport?
Tony Callaghan, owner of Harry's Bar, said random drugs tests would be put into action to make sure none of the competitors were "unfairly lubricated".
"Gravy has traditionally been the performance-enhancing drug of choice amongst pie eaters at this level, but we banned it after a series of questionable concoctions were created by contenders," he said.
"We're hearing rumours that cough mixture is the new Bisto.
"Specifically we're told that dry tickly cough linctus works particularly well in lubricating the throat and causing a mild anaesthetic effect which enables faster swallowing."
I thought they meant marijuana munchies. lol