Benny the Dip is Unwell !!

[bennythedip2]

Daughter to Dad: TEXTING Communication in Today's Generation

Daddy, I am coming home to get married soon, so get out your check book. LOL

I'm in love with a boy who is far away from me.

As you know, I am in Australia , and he lives in Scotland . We met on a dating website, became friends on Facebook, had long chats on Whatsapp, he proposed to me on Skype, and now we've had two months of relationship through Viber.

My beloved and favourite Dad, I need your blessing, good wishes, and a really big wedding."

Lots of love and thanks,

Your favourite daughter,

Lilly

Dads reply ....also by texting

My Dear Lilly,

Like Wow! Really? Cool!

Whatever....., I suggest you two get married on Twitter, have fun on Tango, buy your kids on Amazon, and pay for it all through Paypal.



And when you get fed up with this new husband, sell him on eBay. ..

[Tony2005]

[bennythedip2]

It was time for Father John's Saturday night bath and the young nun,
Sister Magdalene, had prepared the bath water and towels just the way the old nun had instructed.

Sister Magdalene was also instructed not to look at Father John's nakedness if she could help it, do whatever he told her to do, and pray.

The next morning the old nun asked Sister Magdalene how the Saturday night bath had gone. 'Oh, sister,' said the young nun dreamily, 'I've been saved.'

'Saved? And how did that come about?' asked the old nun.

'Well, when Father John was soaking in the tub, he asked me to wash him, and while I was washing him he guided my hand down between his legs where he said the Lord keeps the Key to Heaven.'

'Did he now?' said the old nun evenly.

Sister Magdalene continued, 'and Father John said that if the Key to Heaven fitted my lock, the portals of Heaven would be opened to me and I would be assured salvation and eternal peace.

And then Father John guided his Key to Heaven into my lock.'

'Is that a fact?' said the old nun even more evenly.

'At first it hurt terribly, but Father John said the pathway to salvation was often painful and that the glory of God would soon swell my heart with ecstasy. And it did, it felt so good being saved.'

'That wicked old bastard, said the old nun.

'He told me it was Gabriel's Horn, and I've been blowing it for 40 years!

[bennythedip2]

.. At Last A Written Breathalyser Test ..

[Part-Timer]

Originally Posted by bennythedip2

.. At Last A Written Breathalyser Test ..

Good job I wasn't asked to do one last night. I don't even think I would've managed the x

[bennythedip2]

Originally Posted by Part-Timer

Good job I wasn't asked to do one last night. I don't even think I would've managed the x

Hahaha ..Tony says you're lightweight

[Part-Timer]

Originally Posted by bennythedip2

Hahaha ..Tony says you're lightweight

Would'nt like to drink with a heavyweight then

[Tony2005]

[Tony2005]

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize. 'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physiotherapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me,’ she told him. 'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands there at his groin. At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, 'How does that feel'? ‘Feels great,’ he replied; ‘but I still think my thumb's broken!’

[Part-Timer]

Originally Posted by Tony2005

You must've put the post code in