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  #481  
Old December 21st, 2015, 14:13
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Default Old Timers .. Test Your Brain

Test Your Brain
This is really cool.


ALZHEIMER'S EYE TEST
(I love this part.. Its absolutely amazing!)


Count every "F" in the following text:



FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI
FIC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.....
(SEE BELOW)



HOW MANY 'F's?









Count them again.













WRONG, THERE ARE 6 -- no joke..



READ IT AGAIN !

Really, go back and try to find the 6 'F's before you scroll down.

The reasoning behind this is further down.











The brain cannot process "OF".

F INISHED F ILES ARE THE RE
SULT O F YEARS O F SCIENTI
F IC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE O F YEARS.....

Incredible or what?

Anyone who counts all 6 'F's on the first go is a genius.
If you managed that, you are either a genius ..... or don't have Alzheimer's.
It is your turn to see how many of your friends belong in an old age home!
..


Three is normal , four is quite rare.

Send this to your (older!) friends.
It will drive them crazy....
And keep them occupied
For several minutes..!


..
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  #482  
Old December 28th, 2015, 13:08
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The ex-wife!

Tom finally decided to tie the knot with his longtime girlfriend.

One evening after the honeymoon, he was cleaning one of his hot rods for an upcoming show.His wife was standing there at the bench watching him.

After a long period of silence she finally speaks.

"Honey, I've just been thinking, now that we are married, maybe it's time you quit spending all your time out here in the
garage and you probably should just consider selling all your cars along with your gun collection."


Tom gets this horrified look on his face.
She says, "Darling, what's wrong?"

"There for a minute you were starting to sound like my ex-wife."

"Ex wife!", she screams, "YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!

Tom's reply: "I wasn't
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  #483  
Old December 28th, 2015, 13:43
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He's got 3 points of contact
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  #484  
Old January 16th, 2016, 14:28
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Two Women from Ireland ...

Two women were sitting next to each other at a bar. After a while one looks at the other and says, “I can’t help but think, from listening to you, that you’re from Ireland .

The other woman responds proudly, “Yes, I sure am!”

The first one says, “So am I! And where about in Ireland are ya from?

The other woman answers, “I’m from St. John’s , I am.”

The first one responds, “So, am I! And what street did you live on?”

The other woman says, “A lovely little area it was in the west end. I lived on Warbury Street in the old central part of town.”

The first one says, “Faith and it’s a small world. So did I! So did I! And what school did ya go to?”

The other woman answers, “Well now, I went to Holy Heart of Mary, of course.”

The first one gets really excited and says, “And so did I. Tell me, what year did you graduate?”

The other woman answers, “Well, now, let’s see. I graduated in 1964.”

The first woman exclaims, “The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same pub tonight. Can you believe it! I graduated from Holy Heart of Mary in 1964 me self.


About this time, Michael walks into the bar, sits down and orders a beer.

Brian, the bartender, walks over to Michael, shaking his head and mutters, “It’s going to be a long night tonight.”

Michael asks, “Why do you say that, Brian?”

Brian answers,


“The Murphy twins are drunk again.”
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  #485  
Old January 20th, 2016, 13:51
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Naked Cowboy

A sheriff in a small town in Texas walks out in the street and sees a blond haired cowboy coming toward him with nothing on but his cowboy hat, his gun and his boots.

He arrests him for indecent exposure.

As he is locking him up, he asks
'Why in the world are you walking around naked like this?'

The cowboy says:
'Well it's like this, Sheriff ... I was in this bar down the road and this pretty little red head asks me to go out to her motor home with her. So I did.
We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt. So I did.
Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants. So I did. Then she pulls off her undies and asks me to pull off my shorts. So I did.
Then she gets on the bed and looks at me with a real sexy look and says, 'OK, now go to town, cowboy.. '

'So here I am.'





(Son of a Gun. Blonde Men do exist!)
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  #486  
Old January 27th, 2016, 22:55
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Do you know why bikes fall over?











Because they are two tyred
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  #487  
Old January 31st, 2016, 15:46
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A b​londe heard that baths in milk would make her beautiful.
​ ​
She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk. ​ ​
When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. ​ ​
He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. ​ ​
So he knocked on the door to clarify the point. ​ ​
The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk.Did you mean 2.5 gallons? ​ ​
"The blonde said, "No, I want 25 gallons. ​ ​
I'm going to fill my bath tub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again. ​

"The milkman asked, "Does it have to be pasteurized?
Wait for it ....


Wait for it .....



The blonde said,

"No, just up to my tits ... I can splash it on my eyes..
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  #488  
Old February 2nd, 2016, 19:14
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Could you make the letter's a bit bigger Tony , I've lost my glasses
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  #489  
Old February 2nd, 2016, 20:05
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I copied and pasted it that size......
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  #490  
Old February 2nd, 2016, 21:57
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.. Dear Lord. even the neighbour over the road seen that and laughed
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