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#281
October 17th, 2012, 15:28
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Our records show ?
Our records indicate that you were once felt up by Jimmy Saville and could be entitled to £2147 in compensation ..
Just reply, "How's about that then !" to register, or to opt out, just text, "Stop Jimmy Stop" Register before the end of the month and get a free, "Lawyers 4U fixed it for me" medal !! 
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Sell crazy someplace else, we're all stocked up here. 
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#282
November 14th, 2012, 16:13
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This made me chuckle :
Some kids stopped me outside the shop earlier and said, "Hey mate, will you go in there and get us ten Richmond?" "Sure I will," I replied, taking their money. On the way out I gave them their sausages and informed them they only come in packs of eight.
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#283
November 14th, 2012, 22:20
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Fifty Sheds Of Grey
The novel "Fifty Shades Of Grey" has seduced women - and baffled blokes.
Now a spoof, Fifty Sheds Of Grey, offers a treat for the men. The book has author Colin Grey recounting his love encounters at the bottom of the garden. Here are some extracts... Fifty Sheds Of Grey  We tried various positions - round the back, on the side, up against a wall... but in the end we came to the conclusion the bottom of the garden was the only place for a good shed. She stood before me, trembling in my shed. "I'm yours for the night," she gasped, "You can do whatever you want with me." So I took her to McDonalds. She knelt before me on the shed floor and tugged gently at first, then harder until finally it came. I moaned with pleasure... Now for the other boot. Ever since she read THAT book, I've had to buy all kinds of ropes, chains and shackles. She still manages to get into the shed, though .... "Put on this rubber suit and mask," I instructed, calmly. "Mmmm, kinky!" she purred. "Yes," I said, "You can't be too careful with all that asbestos in the shed roof." "I'm a very naughty girl," she said, biting her lip. "I need to be punished." So I invited my mum to stay for the weekend. "Harder!" she cried, gripping the work bench tightly. "Harder!" "Okay," I said. "What's the gross national product of Nicaragua ?" I lay back exhausted, gazing happily out of the shed window. Despite my concerns about my inexperience, my rhubarb had come up a treat. "Are you sure you can take the pain?" she demanded, brandishing stilettos. "I think so," I gulped. "Here we go, then," she said, and showed me the receipt. "Hurt me!" she begged, raising her skirt as she bent over my workbench. "Very well," I replied. "You've got fat ankles and no dress sense." "Are you sure you want this?" I asked. "When I'm done, you won't be able to sit down for weeks." She nodded. "Okay," I said, putting the three-piece suite on eBay. "Punish me!" she cried. "Make me suffer like only a real man can!" "Very well," I replied, leaving the toilet seat up. "Pleasure and pain can be experienced simultaneously," she said, gently massaging my back as we listened to her Coldplay CD You can’t beat a good shed!  
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Sell crazy someplace else, we're all stocked up here.
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#284
December 5th, 2012, 12:36
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I called the RSPCA today and said, "I've just found a suitcase in the woods containing a fox and four cubs."
"That's terrible," she replied. "Are they moving?" "I'm not sure, to be honest," I said, "But that would explain the suitcase."
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#285
December 5th, 2012, 16:01
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hahahaha ,
I like that Dobie , made me laugh 
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Sell crazy someplace else, we're all stocked up here.
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#288
December 8th, 2012, 14:25
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Quote:
It will be before then...... Ive just seen Avran Grant in my kitchen..... 
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.. The July Festival Tipster Starts Thursday... .. 
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