00:11
Talk Sport Forums


Go Back   Talk Sport Forums > General Sport Discussion > Talk Sports
Register FAQ Community Calendar Today's Posts Search

Benny the Dip is Unwell !!

Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #491  
Old February 3rd, 2016, 01:22
bennythedip2's Avatar
bennythedip2 bennythedip2 is offline  
Derby Winner
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Bucks
Posts: 21,407
Send a message via Skype™ to bennythedip2
Wink The Caddy

Then the Caddy Speaks

David Feherty does a standup show that is quite spectacular. It's all about his life in golf, the drinking and lots of stories about life on the tour.

Here's one of his stories:


It was back in the 70s and a soon-to-be prominent golfer (Ray Floyd) was playing at Augusta for his first Masters. Back then the players could not bring their own caddies but had to use one of the locals. Floyd told the caddy master he wanted a big fellow who could handle his bag, but who also would keep quiet, no advice needed.



The caddy who was assigned Floyd said, "Hello Mr. ...........".

Floyd said "Hello." And followed that with, "That's the last I want to hear from you."



Everything went well until the 10th hole when Floyd pushed his drive into the right trees on the par 4. After surveying the scene he said out loud, "I'm going to hit a low fade out through that opening to carry and land mid green and then roll over the crest down near the hole."

Surprisingly he pulled it off exactly and turned to his caddy and said,

"How's that?"



The caddy spoke for the first time and said, "That wasn't your ball."
__________________
Sell crazy someplace else, we're all stocked up here.
Reply With Quote
  #492  
Old February 3rd, 2016, 16:18
Part-Timer's Avatar
Part-Timer Part-Timer is offline  
Dedicated Punter
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 5,517
Default

Feherty is really funny, when he won the Scottish Open he went on the drink and took the trophy with him. After 2 days he woke up on the 16th green at Gleneagles, he won it in Loch Lomond 45 miles away, not remembering anything, including where he left the 100 year old trophy. They still haven't found it Now that is a session to be proud of.
Reply With Quote
  #493  
Old February 5th, 2016, 15:43
Tony2005's Avatar
Tony2005 Tony2005 is offline  
talk sport tipster
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Newmarket
Posts: 25,347
Default

I wonder if Benny's neighbour like that one ....
__________________
.. The July Festival Tipster Starts Thursday...
..
Reply With Quote
  #494  
Old February 15th, 2016, 20:12
Tony2005's Avatar
Tony2005 Tony2005 is offline  
talk sport tipster
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Newmarket
Posts: 25,347
Default

Had to get rid of my dog today ......

He kept digging up the bloody garden .....
__________________
.. The July Festival Tipster Starts Thursday...
..
Reply With Quote
  #495  
Old February 20th, 2016, 09:28
Dobie2089's Avatar
Dobie2089 Dobie2089 is offline
Dedicated Punter
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Bradford
Posts: 1,884
Default

After waiting for what seemed like an eternity, the stewardess announces over the intercom that "we're just waiting for the pilots."
The passengers look out the window and see two men, dressed as pilots walking towards the plane. Both men are using guide dogs and appear to be blind. There are murmurs among the passengers, and some believe it is a joke.
The men board the plane and go into the cockpit. More concerned murmurs and uneasy chuckles from the passengers. The plane taxis normally to the runway and begins it's takeoff. As passengers look out the window they realize they are nearing the end of the runway. The entire passenger cabin begins screaming but the plane lifts off just before the end of the runway. The passengers calm down and chuckle to themselves, at this point believing that they fell for a joke.
In the cockpit, the pilot turns to his copilot and says "you know, one day those people are gonna scream too late and we're all gonna die!"
Reply With Quote
  #496  
Old February 20th, 2016, 13:04
bennythedip2's Avatar
bennythedip2 bennythedip2 is offline  
Derby Winner
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Bucks
Posts: 21,407
Send a message via Skype™ to bennythedip2
Default

Hahahaha love it Dobie

Hahahaha
__________________
Sell crazy someplace else, we're all stocked up here.
Reply With Quote
  #497  
Old February 24th, 2016, 19:36
Tony2005's Avatar
Tony2005 Tony2005 is offline  
talk sport tipster
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Newmarket
Posts: 25,347
Default





Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.'

The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano?' 'Yes, Father, it is.' 'And who was the girl you were with?'

'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation.'

"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now.

Was it Tina Minetti?" 'I cannot say.' 'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?' 'I'll never tell.' 'Was it Nina Capelli?' 'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.'

'Was it Cathy Piriano?' 'My lips are sealed Father.' 'Well then, was it Rosa DiAngelo?' 'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'

The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone.

You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.'

Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, 'What'd you get?' 'Four month's vacation and five excellent Leads.'


__________________
.. The July Festival Tipster Starts Thursday...
..
Reply With Quote
  #498  
Old March 7th, 2016, 14:07
bennythedip2's Avatar
bennythedip2 bennythedip2 is offline  
Derby Winner
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Bucks
Posts: 21,407
Send a message via Skype™ to bennythedip2
Default

I think it's safe to say that this thread has now become 'Tony's Facebook Joke Page'

Steve has his own 'Dating Site Adds' to keep him busy

Time for me to start up the old, 'Self Preservation Society Group' me thinks
__________________
Sell crazy someplace else, we're all stocked up here.
Reply With Quote
  #499  
Old March 7th, 2016, 18:38
Tony2005's Avatar
Tony2005 Tony2005 is offline  
talk sport tipster
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Newmarket
Posts: 25,347
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by bennythedip2 View Post
I think it's safe to say that this thread has now become 'Tony's Facebook Joke Page'

Steve has his own 'Dating Site Adds' to keep him busy

Time for me to start up the old, 'Self Preservation Society Group' me thinks

I always wondered where that went .....

I will leave this one to you although i have invaded it a little to much ...

Im going to start a new Tony's facebook page just for my BIG pictures....
__________________
.. The July Festival Tipster Starts Thursday...
..
Reply With Quote
  #500  
Old March 8th, 2016, 01:13
bennythedip2's Avatar
bennythedip2 bennythedip2 is offline  
Derby Winner
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Bucks
Posts: 21,407
Send a message via Skype™ to bennythedip2
Default

No it's ok , do whatever

I just thought that with Steve's adverts for Asian and Muslim women dating sites, and your facebook pictures we might as well see if we can't ask Sam Alladyce what's the chances of him giving his opinon on Football

Of course i could also ask Donald Trump to explain what he meant by the size of his dick ??

F'cking world's gone mad so we might as well join in on here
__________________
Sell crazy someplace else, we're all stocked up here.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 00:11.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Page generated in 0.58157706 seconds with 11 queries