Benny the Dip is Unwell !!

[bennythedip2]

The little boy had been looking out of the window.

He turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

The mother couldn't think of an answer. She told her son to ask the flight attendant.

The boy went down the aisle and asked the flight attendant, "If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

The busy flight attendant smiled and asked the boy, "Did your mother tell you to ask me that?"

The boy replied, "Yes, she did."

"Well", said the flight attendant, "you tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time.

Have your mother explain that to you."

[bennythedip2]

A British friend of mine once found himself at a dinner party sitting next to an attractive American woman. The conversation turned to cricket, and the woman asked my friend to explain the game.

He agreed and embarked on a lengthy explanation of the mysteries of "silly mid-on," "fine-leg," "googly," "chinaman" and the like.

At the end he sat back, exhausted.
The woman looked at him, shaking her head in wonderment,

"That really is remarkable. And to think they do it all on horseback.


Cheers
Allan Hill

[bennythedip2]

[QUOTE=Tony2005;25123][SIZE="2"]Benny has asked me to post this video......
https://youtu.be/Nxe4WWGnPuc

[bennythedip2]

I'm fed up with the excuses women come up with to avoid having sex,

like: I'm tired." "I'm washing my hair." "I've got a headache."

"I'm your sister-in-law."



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



A woman in labour is in pain and screaming profanity at her husband from her hospital bed.

He says,
"Hey, don't blame me I wanted to stick it in your ass, but N-O-O-O-O,

You said that might hurt!" -

[bennythedip2]

Oh had to laugh - In the supermaket today coming up to the checkout .

In front was was a very fat woman with a huge arse,

suddenly her phone began to 'beep - beep'

A little boy standing behind her with his mum says,

'F'uck me - Look Out - She's Reversing !!!!



The mother says, Shoooosh

[bennythedip2]

During a commercial airline flight an experienced Air Force Pilot was seated next to a young mother with a babe in arms.

When the baby began crying during the descent for landing, the mother began nursing the infant as discreetly as possible.

The pilot pretended not to notice, and, upon disembarking, he gallantly offered his assistance to help with the various baby-related items.

When the young mother expressed her gratitude, the pilot responded,
"that's a good looking baby, and he sure was hungry!"

Somewhat embarrassed, the mother explained that her pediatrician said that the time spent on the breast would help alleviate the pressure in the baby's ears.

The Air Force Pilot sadly shook his head, and in true pilot fashion exclaimed,


"And all these years, I've been chewing gum."

[bennythedip2]

A mother-in-law stopped by unexpectedly at a recently married couple’s house. She knocked on the door, then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch totally naked.

“What are you doing?!” she asked.

“I’m waiting for Jeff to come home from work,” the daughter-in-law answered.

“But you’re naked!” the mother-in-law exclaimed.

“This is my love dress,” the daughter-in-law explained.

“Love dress? You’re naked!”

“Jeff loves when I wear this dress! It makes him happy and it makes me happy.”

On the way home, the mother-in-law thought about the love dress. When she got home, she got undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, and expectantly waited for her husband, lying provocatively on the couch.

Finally her husband came home. He walked in and saw her naked on the couch.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“This is my love dress,” she replied.

“Needs ironing,” he said. “What’s for dinner?”

[bennythedip2]

A very tired nurse walks into a bank, totally exhausted after a 16-hour shift.

Preparing to write a check, she pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries to write with it.

When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flabbergasted teller, and without missing a beat, she says:

‘Well, that's great...that's just great... ... some asshole's got my pen!

[bennythedip2]

Before Reading - Click On the Picture Below

The School of Psychology, University of Pennsylvania conducted a survey called “What really do you see?”
People were asked to focus their attention on this simple picture and then asked if they had noticed anything odd.
Now you also have a chance to test your skills and see if you can pass………
Study the picture for 5 seconds. What did you notice?


Here are the Results of the Survey:


1. 100% of males failed this test. They were distracted by the woman’s large bosom.
2. 100% of the females also failed this test. They were distracted by the wide choice of doughnuts.

The real answer (see below):


There’s a mouse on the doughnut in the upper left of the box…….

Now don’t tell me you saw it. I won’t believe you.

[bennythedip2]

This would be an acceptable reason to laugh at a funeral...



A very prestigious cardiologist died, and was given a very

elaborate funeral by the hospital he worked for most of his life...



A huge heart... covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the

service as all the doctors from the hospital sat in awe. Following

the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart

then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.



At that point, one of the mourners just burst into laughter.

When all eyes stared at him, he said,

'I'm so sorry... I was just thinking of my own funeral...I'm a gynecologist!'



The priest fainted!