Benny the Dip is Unwell !!

[bennythedip2]

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat.

As he settled in, he glanced Up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat.
As fate would have it, she took The seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?”

She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your Business at this convention?”

“Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”

“Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?”

“Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is Scotsmen who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Irish

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. “I’m Sorry,” she said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t Even know your name.”

“Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto McTavish but my friends call me Paddy".

[bennythedip2]

If you think Greyhounds and Lurchers are Funny

Then, "I predict a Riot" https://youtu.be/rXpjX4l0hRg - Love it

[bennythedip2]

Results of a women's survey on size.


Women's response:

2 inches - I can't even hold it.

3 inches - Never been so unsatisfied.

4 inches - I've had bigger than it.

5 inches - Good, but I wish a bit bigger.

6 inches - perfect.

7 inches - Love it.

8 inches - Wow! But can't have it all.

9 inches - Painful but manageable.

10 inches - Too much pressure on stomach.




This survey was actually a Customer's Feedback on different SIZES of: Subway Sandwiches!


But I love the way you thinking!

This is why I worry about you!

[Part-Timer]

In hospital, a bloke had made several attempts to get into the men's toilet, but it had always been occupied. A nurse noticed his predicament.

Sir, she said "You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall."

So he used the bog, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch.

Each button was identified by letters: WW, WA, PP, and a red one labeled ATR.

Who would know if he touched them?

He couldn't resist.. He pushed WW. warm water was sprayed gently upon his arse.

What a nice feeling, he thought. Men lavvys don't have nice things like this.

Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his cheeks.

When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flower to this unbelievable pleasure..

The ladies toilet was more than a lavvy, it is tender loving pleasure.

When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy.

Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital bed, and a nurse was staring down at him.

"What happened pet?" he exclaimed. The last thing I remember was pushing the ATR button.

The nurse said "The button ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your cock is under your pillow."

[bennythedip2]

hahaha - classic PT

[Part-Timer]

I keep getting messages on Facebook, always telling me to have a shave, cut my hair and brush my teeth. I think I will report them to the Police as I think they're trying to groom me

[bennythedip2]

[bennythedip2]

WHY ETHEL HAD TO CHANGE HER HOTEL

Last week, Ethel checked in to a hotel on her 70th birthday and she was a bit lonely. She thought, "I'll call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual massages.

She looked through the phone book, found a full page ad for a guy calling himself Tender Tony… a very handsome man with assorted physical skills flexing in the photograph.

He had all the right muscles in all the right places, thick wavy hair, long powerful legs, dazzling smile, six pack abs and she felt quite certain she could bounce a sixpence off his well-oiled butt.

She figured, what the heck, nobody will ever know. I'll give him a call.

"Good evening, ma'am, how may I help you? Oh my, he sounded sooo sexy!

Afraid she would lose her nerve if she hesitated and she rushed right in, "Hi, I hear you give a great massage. I'd like you to cometo my motel room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex.

I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks.

We'll go hot and heavy all night… tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything and everything, I'm ready!

Now how does that sound?"

He said...

"That sounds absolutely fantastic,...but you need to press 9 for an outside line."

[bennythedip2]

At the dry cleaners today and this is what happened
:

File not working now sorry

[Part-Timer]

Nothing happens for me